Please pass this on to everyone you know or will ever know.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving dinner: Help stop the suffering!

Thanksgiving is a day when we all get together as families to catch up on gossip. We all remember what happened last year right? Last year feeds the fire for this year, and this year feeds next. It's a vicious cycle.


There is one upside to this charade we call Thanksgiving: Chinese food. Let me explain.

Thanksgiving food is gross. Just putting it out there. Food that's not gross? Chinese. Ever since I was knee-high to a person, I've always sought to find my favorite food at the Thanksgiving day buffet, but to no avail.

When I turned 16 and was old enough to just drive and drive, away from the foolishness that is cornbread stuffing, I found myself at a Panda Express where I experienced the greatest Thanksgiving feast of my life!

Orange chicken, egg rolls, chow mein, yum! Since that day, I have made it a tradition to have Chinese on Thanksgiving. I mean, if everyone else gets to have their favorite "candied yams" and homemade "stinky-foot green bean casserole", I get my beef and broccoli, and my cashew pepper chicken.

This year, I plan on bringing home made ham fried rice and sweet and sour sauce to the feast in order to enlighten the other guests to a new way of thinking. My goal? Eliminate the awful tradition of nearly burning down the house, a steep price to pay, for a disgusting, dry turkey. Eliminate the fighting, the gossipping, and the gastro-intestinal distress. I mean, that much mashed potatoes must stay in there for a while, right? With Chinese, you could feast every hour, on the hour, because you'll just be hungry again later.

Please, help stop the suffering. Bring some Chinese barbecued pork to your dinner tomorrow. Your family will be "Giving-Thanks" to you!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

See, doesn't that look so much better than lumpy gravy and funeral potatoes?
Yes. Yes it does.

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