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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

If I had a million dollars.

Recently, I was forced at gun-point (banana gun) to contemplate the idea of having a million dollars, and what I would spend it on. It did not take long to decide. As a result, I have compiled a list of the things I would spend this imaginary scrilla on:

1.   250,000 lbs of Salt Water Taffy. That's 16,250,000 individual pieces! That is enough taffy to give every single person in The Netherlands a piece of taffy. Can you imagine how happy that would make 3/4 of those people?! I would imagine that about a fourth of the people would be less than wowed, but I still have yet to meet more than 1 out of 4 people who don't love a piece of free taffy. Yum!

2.   Costa Vida meals, 3 meals a day, for 114 years. I know that is probably unhealthy, but just think about how much food that is! I mean, I'd probably skip a meal or two here and there, so it would last even longer. My theory is that most people die "of old age" because they have nothing really awesome to live for. I think living until I'm 136 years old in order to finish my meals is a perfectly reasonable explanation for living to such an old age. As I always say, "Eat what you can, die at age 136 like a man."

3.   A zeppelin, like they had back in the day. The reason for this is purely for entertainment; you could silently sneak up on people, granted they did not see the shadow, and drop a water balloon on them! You could also use this aircraft to make a quick grocery run, and can you imagine picking up a date in one of those things?! Move over old, crusty muscle cars, the zeppelin is here.

4.   An old muscle car. I take back what I said about them being crusty, they are cool.

5.   The World's Most Expensive Haircut, just to hold a world record.

Wow, it is certainly eye opening to look into one's soul and see what a stack of hundreds would go towards.

Makes you think.

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