Please pass this on to everyone you know or will ever know.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

"If I had a slave" by Michael Ian Black

Can I get an Amen? 
This is one of my favorite essays from my friend, Michael Ian Black, who was the inspiration for starting my silly blog. Enjoy.


"If I had a slave.
If I had a slave I would be such a good master. I wouldn't be abusive or mean. I would be kind and benevolent. I would always say considerate things like, "Good morning Slave", because I think slaves would appreciate courtesy, just as much as real people.
My slave would never want for anything. If he played music I would give him an instrument. If he liked to draw, a pencil I would give him. And my slave wouldn't have to sleep on the floor. I'd give him an old mattress or a futon I bought off Craigslist.
We would be so happy, me and my slave. We would do everything together! I would watch him work together. He would drive me around together. And when we got hungry he would feed me together. Yes, we would almost be like friends.
If I had a slave."


See you Thursday, Mike

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