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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Guest Writer: Cameron Eyre

Stage Fright
By Cameron Eyre
For any of you who actually know me live, you may think I am referring to the super amazing, very cool, major music award winning rock n' roll band, Vol Suetra, I was part of. You're probably thinking "Oh, He looked so cool up there, being all cool. He never looked nervous once! He's sssoooooo HAWT!!!", and although you are right about all of those things, there is one little thing that does make me nervous... and that is peeing. Yep, I know it may sound odd to some of you, but for others this hits VERY close to home. It happens to me everytime. I'll be in a public place such as a mall (wouldn't be caught dead there), or on UVU campus (GO WOLVERINES!! :) ), or a five star restaurant... and I like many people can relate, occasionally I will have to go pee. But as soon as I go in the bathroom, if someone else is there, I get what is sometimes referred to as "stage fright." I won't be able to focus on the issue at hand.. ME PEEING!!! So I'll end up standing there with my pants down at my ankles waiting for the guy next to me scram, and Im sure the whole time he's thinking "this guy has been here longer than I have, but I dont hear his pee splashing anywhere. Is he just creepin' and hanging out with his pants at his ankles?" And that makes me all self concious to think that he is thinking Im a weirdo. But the worst is if you get two "shy guys" (its almost like a secret club! :) we should have secret handshakes! Wouldn't that be sssooooo cool!) and then it kinda becomes a waiting game. Who will wait the longest to own the bathroom? It's rarely ever me, cause standing there in utter silence with my pants down, staring at a wall with someone I dont know only 12 inches away from me is super awkward. Today I had to hit THREE different bathrooms before I could find one where I could have some pee-ce and quiet (see what I did there.. like peace and quiet... but its PEE-ce and quiet.) It was utter hell. Its a weird phenomona, but it seems to happen every single time. Damn me and my shy urethra!

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