Please pass this on to everyone you know or will ever know.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Is your sandwich secure?

Can I get an Amen? 
How Secure Is Your Sandwich?
By My Old Friend, Andy Goddard

Yesterday I went to Subway and ordered 3 footlongs (to feed my family - I wasn't THAT hungry). I gave them my Subway card and the guy told me that 2 of the sandwiches would be free! I did a happy dance, but it was short. 

With a sad face, he told me that the 2 sandwiches would NOT be free because my Subway card had been FROZEN!

"Frozen?" I gasped. "What can we do about that?"

"Just call the number on the back and they'll unfreeze it for you," he assured me.

I paid for my sandwiches and went home.
This morning I called the Subway Card help line. First I gave them Subway card number. She thanked me then asked me for my PIN number. 
"PIN Number?" I asked. Was she serious?
"Yes, it's on the bottom. You have to scratch off the gray stuff."

I scratched off the gray stuff and told her my PIN Number. 

"Thank you. Which Subway stores do you go to most often?" She asked me. I figured she was doing some harmless market research - helping headquarters know which stores their customers like. You know, so they can do touchup paint at the "less favorable" locations, or something like that.

But then came the clincher. "For verification purposes, which sandwiches do you order most often?"

WHAT?!?! For verification purposes? Am I at Wells Fargo or a sandwich shop? You guys have been tracking what sandwiches have been bought on "my account?" 

What would happen if somebody else was buying some gross sandwiches and telling Subway it was me? "I'll have a 6 foot tuna with meatballs, jalapenos and mustard. And my name is Andy Goddard."

I'm sure they'd have to have my Subway card for me to REALLY get that one on my account. But who's going to run around putting sandwiches on other people's cards.

"Hey guys. You won't believe what I just put on Andy's card. Yeah, I paid for it and he'll get all the points, but Headquarters will think he's an idiot!"

So I told the gal on the phone the sandwiches I always buy. Veggie or chicken breast. Apparently, I passed the interrogation because she unfroze my card. Security was tight, but I flew through.

I hung up and asked myself "Sandwiches are serious business. Who have I bought sandwiches from that may be taking them too lightly? Wendy's doesn't have a Wendy's card. Golden Arches doesn't do the card. Maybe they're completely incompetent?"

So you need to ask yourself the same question. Next time you order the Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, ask yourself, "Is this sandwich secure?"

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