Please pass this on to everyone you know or will ever know.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Love letter to that chick Rachel Bilson

To that chick Rachel Bilson,

First things first. This letter is to Rachel only, so you guys can stop reading, unless you know her and can pass it along.

This letter is kind of a fan letter. More than that, Rachel, I am totally head over heals for you. Actually, I am using my popular website as a way to get a letter to you, since I can’t find your address. I didn’t actually look for it at all, but I figure it’d probably be hard to track down.

You first caught my eye when you were 22 years old, playing a high school student on tv's The OC. I suspended my disbelief and allowed myself to jump right into your story, and for you to jump right into my heart. Even though you are several years older than I am, we were technically in high school at the same time. Therefore, I feel that I am well within your league.

I went on a self guided tour of the Warner lot a couple of weeks ago, and I couldn't help but notice that the red light outside of the "Hart of Dixie" soundstage was on. I knew you were only a couple dozen yards away, so I figured I'd just pop in. Much to my dismay, the door was locked. Sorry if I ruined your scene with the sound of a jiggling handle. Its just, I didn't see a sock on the door, so I thought the coast was clear.

Rachel, I think you are a total fox. It is no secret that you are one of the sexiest women in all of show business. It is also no secret that I’m pretty attractive myself, even if I haven’t done any television yet. I would go as far as to say that you and I would make a very attractive couple. I’m just saying that we might as well give it a try.

I am going to go out on a limb here and ask you for a dinner date. I know you are with Hayden Christensen, and that’s okay with me. The way I figure, regardless of what Wikipedia might say, if there’s no ring, its fair game. You could bring him along, if that would make a difference. I’m willing to make the sacrifice in order to secure a date with my very favorite television actress, and my second favorite film actress (Number one slot goes to Charlize Theron, for obvious reasons. It goes without saying that this whole letter goes double for her).

Get back to me as soon as you can. I’m looking forward to our dinner date!


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