I was taught by my mother that you should never cuss. As the
oldest of five kids, my folks wanted me to be a good example. They didn’t want
my baby brother, 11 years younger than me, saying “fuck” in that adorable voice
that four-year-olds use. I’m sure most parents teach the same thing, but as a
grown-ass man, I wonder if that’s the right thing to teach our kids.
My father says he has never used a single profanity. I am inclined
to believe him, as amazing as that sounds. He grew up very religious and
conservative. He is also very structured and methodical. The man is a fourth
degree black belt and an engineer. His world is extremely black and white,
totally polarized. Mine is different… My world is infinite (fifty?) shades of
gray, with nary a black or white in sight. I figure there is a way to justify
anything. I guess that’s what this essay is all about.
In the community I grew up in, swearing was not a popular pass
time, except for burnouts and dirtbags. When I left the state, I found that
colorful language was the norm. Whether in a professional business environment,
in the field, or in line at the damn super market, I would hear hilarious words
and phrases that made my day, and it made the day of the people standing
around, too. It’s seldom I encounter folks taking offense, and usually, that’s
just my mom.
Then I married a pottymouth. The funny thing is, she grew up in
the next town over, but with one difference; she had hilarious parents. The
first time I met her father, he hit on me (with the puppet master watching from
afar). But that’s another story… Swearing is the paint with which they create
the masterpiece of spoken word, heard in their home. It’s just part of their
family culture, and definitely makes dinnertime fun.
Later, when I was in Basic Officer Training in the Air Force, my
squadron commander wrote me up and called me into his office for saying the
word “dammit”. This especially surprised me, because doesn’t the military love
to swear? Isn’t that their thing? Granted, I was brand new to the gig, so what
did I know? I was astounded. When I asked him why, he informed me that, as an
officer, my troops would be looking up to me and expecting me to be a good
example. He told me that “swearing degrades the respect of the man.” Even our
drill instructors didn’t swear like normal. They say things like “what the
PISS, trainee?!” It’s a little weird.
Clean up your damn mouth. This is exactly the same thing I was
taught growing up! Why is that such a popular trope? It’s interesting to think
that, in 2016, brands like “Kick Ass Coffee”, “Best Damn Root Beer”, and “Slap
My Ass and Call Me Sally Hot Sauce” have vulgarities in the trademarked name,
but we are taught to speak like it’s the 1950’s at home. “Mom, do you want
some… Kick Butt Coffee?” No.
An assumption people make about colloquial usage of taboo language
is that dumb people swear when they can’t come up with a smarter thing to say.
Does cussing make a person sound stupid? Does it degrade the respect of the
man? An article published by the Association for Psychological
Science, entitled The Science of Swearing,
says it’s okay. They said that, barring discrimination or sexual harassment,
swearing has a cathartic effect and can be beneficial.
A recent study published in Language
Sciences magazine, states that "a
voluminous taboo
lexicon may better be considered an indicator of healthy verbal abilities.”
Basically, that’s a nerdy way of saying the more swears you know, and the better you use them, the smarter and
more creative you probably are. My pottymouth wife must be a genius, and I think her dad must be on
his way to a Nobel Prize! The way he eloquently shoehorns the fuck word into
casual conversation is nothing short of masterful.
So whether you cuss, curse, swear or use profanity, do it with
creativity and pride.
http://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/2012/may-june-12/the-science-of-swearing.html